I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
