He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
