I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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