Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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