Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize