So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
