how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize