did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
