You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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