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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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