did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We left the knife in your bed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize