Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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