I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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