I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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