PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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