you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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