I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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