hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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