he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
