we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
