My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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