Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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