We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
