that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
false alarm, still single
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize