So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
