Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
