I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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