How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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