She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
