I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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