I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize