just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
