He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
