After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
