She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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