Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
