My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
