today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize