After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
this is an emotional support booty call
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
