I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
