these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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