why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
