I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
