I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
