you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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