you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
