Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
