Moan for me like Helen Keller
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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