Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
