She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
God, I missed his penis.
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