An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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