She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
