I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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