Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
