Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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