Its about making memories worth repressing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
