i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
