I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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