fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Boobs speak an international language.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize