At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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