I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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