Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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