just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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