also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.