wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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