never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
