Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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