community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
