I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
