BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
