wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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