I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
