i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He felt like a one man threesome
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
