I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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