playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
