we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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